"Harder Than The First Time"

Last night at chapel my friend spoke on how when he was sophomore he felt like he was having trouble with his faith even though for his whole life he grew up going to church. Listening to him I felt like I was feeling the same way. Its weird because he made the point that many people in their sophomore year of college struggle with their faith and it's true. He said that he struggled with the reason why he  believed in God and why he called him Father. After a year and a half he lives his life for Jesus everyday and loves reading the bible, because every time he reads it it becomes something new to him. So with that said.......

For the last couple of months I have felt so lost and empty, and have tried to fill my life with the things of this world, like alcohol and working out all the time. I thought that this stuff would make me happy and it didn't fill the void in my life. I don't think I even realized I was doing it. I was really missing something. When I got to school it really hit me that I was lost and didn't know what I was doing with my life. The people around me were happy and I could tell that they had something in their lives that I wanted, it was JESUS. I knew I wanted Jesus to come back into my life because on my own I am nothing. I want to be whole heartedly in love with the author and perfecter of my faith. I want God to always be in my life, I want him to be my Father and my Friend forever. 

There is this song by Barlow Girl called "Harder Than The First Time" which I believe really relates to where I am at in my life.

Here are the words: "Harder Than The First Time"

I walked with you

Just like we've done for so long

You seem so near

But even that's become so common It's not just You, just been together so long

That I thought I knew everything about You

But today I saw

Did you open up my eyes?

'Cause I feel like I've just seen You for the first time

I didn't see You

But God I want to

You've come alive

And I think I've fallen harder than the first time

Was I so blind?

How did I not see You?

Yet in that time You never left my side 

so far all my life I will live to Know You 

So here I am, I'll take Your hand

I see Your face 

I feel You close

the love You've always shown me

Won't miss it now can't waste a day

Jesus I'm Yours completely